2012: A Year in Review

Only a few days left of 2012 and I have to admit... minus a few rocky weeks in the beginning, it's been a phenomenal year for me. I have very few complaints about everything that happened this year, and anything that I could really complain about honestly made me a better, stronger person, so I can't really even complain about those...

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

JANUARY
I rang in the New Year with my best friend and two (nearly) perfect strangers, but it was a good first step toward my major resolution for 2012: meet new people and make new friends. I spent most of January trying to figure out what was going on with my relationship, which was technically off, but realistically still on. Matt went to Italy for the last week of January and we spent a lot of time writing emails, g-chatting, and further realizing that we really didn't have much of a choice: The relationship was certainly not over.

FEBRUARY
I don't necessarily remember much about February, other than receiving a Kindle Fire from Matt for my twenty-fourth birthday. This machine would change my entire perception of ebooks and I quickly became addicted. And I mean... buy-one-or-two-books-per-week addicted. Daily Deals are examined closely every single day and the monthly deals blow my mind. I no longer shunned ebooks, though I almost always have a hardcover or paperback on hand or in progress. Best gift ever. Even, possibly, better than my Pandora bracelets.

MARCH
I visited Andrew in NYC for St. Patrick's Day. Despite being pinched by complete strangers (I forgot to wear green...), I had a great time. He introduced me to The Strand, which is a little slice of heaven for every book lover, and I remember telling him that someday soon I'd be working in the city. I didn't know how true those words were when I spoke them.

APRIL
Matt and I book a somewhat last-minute six-day trip to Chicago and completely reconnect. We decide to "officially" pick up our relationship where we left off and we celebrate our seventh anniversary (because we're in agreement that the break didn't really happen... it was all a dream nightmare) in style at Moto. Then we dine at Alinea for the second time in two years and seriously make a memory that will last a lifetime and then some. We spend some time with my cousin in his natural habitat (Lincoln Park) and we walk all the way to Hot Doug's and experience a cocktail tasting menu at The Aviary. We spend more money than I make in a month and we go home and rarely leave each other's side the rest of the month.

MAY
I am completely miserable at my job. I don't like what I'm doing, I don't feel appreciated, and I don't feel respected. I force myself to get out of bed in the morning and I can't sit in my seat a minute after 5:00. I feel like I'm wasting my time and I start applying for jobs in New York. I apply for a job as an editor and am told that, despite my three combined years of working for a book production company, I don't have the experience necessary to edit trade books. So I ask if there is anything open at said company and I'm invited to interview for an internship on May 14. On May 15, I'm offered the full-time, paid internship. On May 16, I give my two days notice. On May 18, I cash out my final week of vacation time and say goodbye to my old office and coworkers.

I spend the next week packing my apartment, convincing myself that my relationship will survive this decision, and looking for somewhere to live in NYC. My start date is May 30 and I need to be settled in somewhere by Memorial Day. I have one full week to find somewhere to live. Andrew hooks me up with the woman he stayed with when he went to Columbia and I promise her a full month's rent in exchange for a bed, a shelf in her fridge, and the use of her bathroom.

My first day as an intern, I proofread more material than I was given in a full year at my old job. I know I've made the right decision for my career.

JUNE
Work is easy, work is fun, work brings new friends who have a ton of the same likes, dislikes, and attitudes. I do what I'm told, ask for extra, and am loving it. At night, I hunt for apartments, expecting to find a place with a July 1 move in date. Matt has agreed to move to NYC when I find a place for us and I'm determined to make that sooner rather than later, as I'm stuck in a tiny room all night by myself and am still in an unfamiliar land. Before I moved to New York, I'd been there three times: once senior year of high school for a Broadway show, once for a conference in college, and once to visit Andrew.

Matt visits early in June and we meet a realtor I've been emailing. He shows us three places within an hour and we decide to take the third place. Two bedrooms, separate living room, separate kitchen, laundry in the building. We're set. We receive a move-in date of June 15 and the woman I'm living with flips outs. Long story short, I was out of there on June 15.

During the last week of June, I'm offered a full-time, salary position at my company. I accept without any hesitation and soon find myself working with the editorial director, managing editor, the publisher, and a bunch of really great people who are all close to my age and are extremely personable.

JULY
Washington Heights is... different. (You'll get a glimpse if you watch the new MTV show Washington Heights, which debuts in January. I won't be watching. Because I already know that "in the heights, shit gets real." Uh huh...) I stick out, men speak to me in Spanish, and I'm afraid to walk around alone. But I love the apartment and have no problem being there alone until Matt moves in on July 9. After more than seven years of dating, we finally live together. And living with a boy isn't too bad... especially since we work opposite shifts and get a lot of time to ourselves.

Matt starts his job at DBK and kind of likes it, but knows it's not where he ultimately wants to be. He hates burgers with all his heart, but he sucks it up for a bit. A paycheck's a paycheck. For now.

AUGUST
I acquire my first book, a healthy cookbook written by a woman who is more than enthusiastic about the process. I catch the acquisition bug and am soon reviewing proposals sent directly to me by various agents and authors. I love my job. I don't regret a single decision I've made all year.

SEPTEMBER
Matt continues to hate his job. I feel guilty, but I know other opportunities are out there for him. He just has to want it.

One of my best friends moves to Washington—yeah, the state. Despite the distance, we talk almost every day and I'm mostly happy that she's happy. It really sucks that she's so far away, but... other people are starting to fill the void. That's not to say that she has been replaced; no one can replace her. But I've grown close to a few people in the office and am excited to be invited to lunch, dinner, happy hours, and shopping as often as I am. Again, no regrets.

OCTOBER
Matt and I celebrate our seven-and-a-half year anniversary because we've learned to really appreciate our time together. We're closer than ever and it's clear that moving in—and away—was a great decision. The hurricane hits the East Coast and power is knocked out in almost all of lower Manhattan. We barely feel a thing in the Heights, but my office and Matt's restaurant are closed and we get to spend an entire week together. We eat horrible food, watch a ton of superhero movies, and walk the streets on Halloween, weaving our way in and out of clusters of children dressed as Disney princesses, Spiderman, and Batman. All the subways are still down, so we really have no place to go. But that's okay, because we're perfectly happy on our couch.

NOVEMBER
Matt stages (interns, pretty much) at wd~50, a Michelin-rated progressive restaurant on the Lower East Side. He works for free for five days and comes home every single night with a huge smile on his face. He's truly happy with the work he's doing for the first time since we moved and I couldn't be happier for him. The day he goes back to his full-time job, he comes home with absolutely no spirit. The light is completely out.

Two days later, he quits his job at 2 in the afternoon. Three hours later, the chef at wd~50 calls him (completely unprompted) with a full-time job offer. I receive the news while waiting in line for a bus to take me home to W-B for the weekend and desperately wish I could celebrate with him. Instead, I settle for texting nearly every person I work with and every family member I can think of. Shortest unemployment ever, happiest guy ever.

We moved to NYC for our careers and now we're both actually making progress. All is well.

We get to spend Thanksgiving together for the first time in seven years. Since we started dating, one of us always had work, be it at the grocery store where we both worked in high school or at whatever restaurant Matt worked at. We cook a turkey big enough to feed my entire family and I eat leftovers for a week and a half, which undoubtedly added to the slight weight gain I've experienced since moving.

DECEMBER
My parents visit, Matt's parents visit, and my sister's boyfriend speedily recovers from a horrible accident. My grandparents are as healthy as can be and everyone's looking forward to the holidays. Amy asks me to be in her wedding; I say yes. Two years till the big day.

Matt loves his job, I receive a positive review and a substantial raise at mine, and I agree to help a friend of the family and a very talented young woman with her first young adult novel off the clock.

We struggle with the idea of breaking our lease and moving south. Matt's commute is way too far. We're still not sure what will happen, but I don't think we'll be in the Heights much longer.

I find a gym closer to work, we find a grocery store that delivers with a very small fee, and we recommit ourselves to a healthier lifestyle. We'll see how long this lasts.

Like Thanksgiving, we get to spend Christmas together for the first time since we were in high school. We make a very small amount of food, spend about three hours in the kitchen drinking an entire bottle of wine, and finish the night with the season finale of Dexter and the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead. We get two full days together, as I took my only vacation day the day after Christmas. I couldn't be happier.

RESOLUTIONS FOR 2013

• Eat great, lose weight
• Cook more
• Move closer to Matt's job
• Write creatively
• Become more organized (if at all possible)
• Meet more new people
• Reconnect with some people from the past
• Become more confident
• Continue to be happy

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year everyone! I love you all. Thank you for accompanying me through one of the greatest years of my life. And, if you were around for 2011, thank you for sticking by my side while I struggled to overcome my issues and move my life forward. <3

Apartment Hunt #2... Already? (Maybe.)

My six-month anniversary in New York and at Skyhorse came and went as of November 28. I noticed it a day or two later, but really didn't have time to acknowledge it. Now that I finally have a night to myself that doesn't include passing out early (although I could definitely go to bed right now...), battling a sinus headache, or burying myself in freelance (although I do have some I could be working on...), I can give it the recognition it deserves:

WOO! SIX MONTHS AND STILL NOT BROKE/DEAD/SINGLE.

Things have been going very, very well. Everything at home is finally stable, it seems, so I'm not afraid to check my texts or answer my phone anymore. For a while, I was afraid something even more tragic would happen that would beckon me home for a few days (and put me under the weather for a few months), but I think we're in the clear for a while. Everyone is (mostly) happy and (getting) healthy, so that takes a lot of stress out of the equation.

Matt loves his new job at wd~50. Love, love, loves it. The only problem is the commute. (And, for me, the hours. But... We moved out here to work, so work we shall.) His shifts run from 11am until about 12:30/1:30am. So he's already working a hell of a long day. Add to that a 45 minute to 1 hour commute in the morning, plus 1.5 to 2 hours at night, and he's spending between 3/4 am and 9:45/10am at home. And those hours are spent sleeping. And I am also sleeping during that time, and then leaving for work, so we're not seeing a whole lot of each other. And he's running on empty.

A shorter commute wouldn't exactly give us a ton of time to spend together, but it'd at least get him an extra hour or two (or three?) of sleep a night. So, the only way to get a shorter commute is to move. And our lease isn't up until June 30 and we really want that security deposit/last month's rent back. He said he could handle another seven months of this schedule, but I really don't want him to have to...

My parents visited this weekend, and my mom suggested subletting. Not sure why that thought never crossed my mind, but a severe sinus infection/head cold stopped me from thinking logically for about a week and a half so I like to think I would've eventually arrived at that idea. But the world will never know now...

Not sure if our landlord allows subletting. I emailed our realtor, who said he'd be happy to help us find someone to take our place, but we need to get the landlord's approval first. Before I even attempt that, though, we need to get through the holidays. Pay all those bills. And I need to have my six-month full-time review at work. Which should come with a substantial raise. Then we can figure out what we can afford, where we want to live (thinking southern Manhattan, possibly on the East Side, but not entirely sure yet), and if we want to use a realtor again (uh... yes. lol).

If we lived on the Lower East Side (or at least close to it), we probably will have to give up some space. We may lose a second bedroom, but Matt's maybe used the room for more than an hour approximately twenty times in the nearly six months he's lived with me. So it's really unnecessary (except, of course, having a guest room is nice for our guests). So if we have to part with it, then that's fine. We also are giving up the idea of having a dog anytime in the next year, since our schedules just won't allow it. So that opens up a few more potential places than it did originally.

But anyway, if we move closer to his job, we could go out together more often. I could meet him after work for drinks (which I can't do right now) on the weekends and we could hang out in the morning before he has to leave. We'd be surrounded by people our age, instead of angry Dominican grandparents, and most people down there speak English, that we've seen. And that'd be nice.

So maybe I'll get up the courage to ask about subletting in mid-January, and we could be out by mid-February? Depending. I think if we do go this route, we're skipping birthday presents and Valentine's Day next year. Which would kind of suck because I love presents, but I'd get over it.

So much to think about!

My Guy's First Michelin-Star Restaurant Job (and some other stuff)

So... let me set the scene:

It's 4:30 on a Thursday afternoon and my cell phone buzzes at work three or four times. When I finally get around to checking it out, I see texts from Matt, who is on Day One of a five-day "stage," which is like an internship. The stage is at wd~50, a restaurant Matt has had his eye on for years. The first text says "This place feels like home." In one eleven-hour shift, Matt fell in love with this place and all the people who work there.

Every night of the stage, he came home smiling, upbeat, and energetic. He talked about how great it was to finally work in a kitchen with people who respected the food they were making as much as he does. They listened to music, they spoke English (big plus in a kitchen out here!)... He told me stories about $10,000 machinery and centrifuges and carrot balls and celery strings and it was very clear to me that he was finally home. In the back of my mind, I feared the day he actually had to go back to DBK, where he's been miserable for quite some time.

So the last day of the wd~50 stage rolls around and they ask him to come back two days a week (Fridays and Saturdays) to help them out. He says yes, but he has to check to make sure DBK will work around that schedule. His first shift back is Wednesday, and Tuesday night all he talks about is how badly he doesn't want to go back. We play around with the idea of him quitting and finding a part-time job to accommodate his weekend work at wd, but we ultimately decide that we just can't go without an income.

Wednesday, he talks to his chef about going part-time and the chef basically tells him no and that he can't cut Matt's hours. Matt's the strongest guy in the kitchen and he can't afford to cut his hours, especially with the holidays coming. He asks Matt to stay on full-time until mid-December and then says he can find another job. Matt relays this information, we're both unhappy with it, but we don't really see what else we can do.

Thursday night, he comes home and he's just... "miserable" isn't a strong enough word. He was all pale and disheveled. He dropped his bag right onto the floor and just fell onto the couch. "I can't go back there" and "I never want to step foot in that kitchen again" pass his lips. We had a really rough year last year, and that still doesn't compare to what I saw Thursday night. He was so upset and so... defeated. At one point, he even curled up on our hardwood floor and didn't want to get up. Again, we talked about him quitting and I finally gave in. But I told him he had to immediately start looking for a part-time job so we'd have some sort of second income.

Friday comes and three hours before his shift (and less than one week before DBK's big Thanksgiving dinner), he quits his job. I immediately ask my assistant managing editor for more freelance work when it becomes available and I secure a few extra hundred dollars a month—but certainly not as much as another full-time job would bring in. I'm stressing out already. Matt comes to take me to lunch at 1:30 and we have this big long talk about what kind of job he can get and where he should look and he promises that while I go home for the weekend, he'll start applying for jobs. I get back to the office at 2:30, wrap everything up, and leave for Port Authority at 3:30.

At 3:45, I get a text from Matt saying that he just missed a call from a 212 number and he's afraid it's going to be someone from DBK either bitching him out or asking him to come back. Then I get another text that says "CALLMENOW." I call. And he tells me that the chef de cuisine from wd~50 just left him a message asking him if he wants a full-time job. The chef had no idea that Matt had quit his job earlier that day; he was simply calling to offer him a job. And this is like... the job that Matt moved out here to get. It's a one-star Michelin restaurant and the head chef, Wylie Dufresne, is a chef first and foremost. Not a celebrity (although he's been on tv a ton of times), but a real chef. An innovator. And Matt actually met him and cooked beside him while he was a stage. I'd imagine he can learn a lot from him as a real employee.

So Matt was unemployed for a little over three hours. And as soon as I heard of this incredible job offer, all the stress I was carrying around about his happiness and our bank account just evaporated. I was kind of worried that I'd have to start ordering appetizers when I go out to eat with my friends and limit myself to one drink during happy hours. I saw myself searching for movie matinee times and stressing over the check book. And maybe we do need to be a bit smarter with the way we spend our money, but it's not that bad. We're still in the green every month. And now we get to have a real Christmas!

Also, we actually get to do Christmas this year! And Thanksgiving! And New Years Day! And that's probably one of my favorite parts of Matt's new job. This place is the first he's worked in that is only a restaurant. It's not a country club, it's not a nightclub/restaurant/bar, it's not attached to a casino, and it's not attached to a hotel. It's just a restaurant. And that's fabulous because there's no special orders (They offer two tasting menus. If you don't like it, tough.), no owner's daughters demanding pots of plain pasta, no holiday meals, no promotional coupons, no room service... Just the restaurant and its menu. In all the time we've been dating (except maybe our first year because we were still in high school), we've never had a holiday where Matt didn't have to work. This is our first Thanksgiving and our first Christmas and even though he'll have to work New Years Eve, at least I guess we get to relax on New Years Day. And I think it's very appropriate that it's also our first year living together for these holidays. Which makes them extra special.

In addition to the holidays, he'll also get two days off each week—two days in a row. Wednesday and Thursdays. We're not sure how switching for other days will work out yet, but it's really cool that he'll have a set schedule. Restaurants rarely do this, but at wd, they want to give their employees "weekends." So that's pretty cool. What kind of sucks is that we won't have Saturday and Sunday mornings together anymore because he'll have to leave for work by 10. And on my only days where I can sleep in, I'd like to sleep until at least 10.

But this is actually going to work out, because it will give me a bit more time to work on my new project: co-authoring a young adult novel.

So let's set another scene...

Aunt Fil emails me to ask me some questions about the way the publishing industry works because she has a friend who wrote a book. We go back and forth for a bit and then she gives her friend my work email address. The friend emails me her pitch and asks me for advice getting an agent. I tell her I like the pitch and would like to review the manuscript; if my company likes it, she could just skip the agent altogether.

So I love the idea for the manuscript, a young adult novel written from the perspective of a sixteen-year-old girl with cerebral palsy who goes to a summer camp and falls in love. The writing needs work, but I figured that if I pitched it to my director and he liked the idea, too, then I would polish the writing after we acquired the title.

The director and publisher love the idea, but then the hurricane hits and no one has time to review the full manuscript. Finally, last week, the managing editor of our children's imprint reviews it and says the writing isn't strong enough to publish, but it's almost there. My director calls me into his office and says, "I would typically reject this, but..." and suggests an alternative. He said that he and the publisher like the idea of the book, but that it needs so much work (not so much work, but more work than a novel should need when it's acquired) that they can't offer on it. He says that he can tell how emotionally invested I am in it and then tells me that if I want to personally help the author on my own and in my free time (see also: unpaid), that I can do that. And then I can pitch the manuscript again and, if it's up to par with the other best-sellers on the market, they'll make an offer.

So I love the idea and I felt like I already had developed a working relationship with the author. I relay all this information to her and tell her that if she doesn't want to work with me and if she wants to take it to another publish, I would totally understand. And instead of doing that, she totally agrees to work with me. So over the next few months, we're going to work on her novel (hence my call for young adult novels on FB) and hopefully get it to a point where my company will publish it (and then I'll work on it some more, but paid).

I'm hoping that working with this author will allow me to kind of get into a groove. And will inspire me to write more of my own stuff. I've been saying that for a while now, and I've written a short story and a few essays in the past month or so, but this is a real, full-length book. And yeah, we're not rewriting it from scratch, but it'll get me thinking creatively and that's what I think will help.

So on top of 9 to 6:15 (I've adopted a later schedule because the train at 5:30 is impossible), freelance for two companies, the gym three days a week (I did it last week!), and Matt's new schedule, I'll be doing this, too. I'll definitely be busy. But busy is good...

Had a great time at home this weekend. It was nice to see everyone, and I'm really looking forward to visits from Matt's parents, my parents, and then the trip home for Grandma's eighty-fifth birthday. Should be good times. :)

And this was great to come home to, too!!! It's really nice to be missed. It's hard to do the missing, though. <3

Surviving Hurricane/Super Storm Sandy, Or Why I Am Craving Human Interaction

So... Sandy. What a bitch.

For the first time since we moved in, I can honestly say I'm grateful for living so far away from all the fun and the lights of New York City. At one of the highest points in Manhattan, Matt and I barely felt the weight of Hurricane (and what later became Super Storm) Sandy. While friends of ours lost power, lost cell service, and pretty much lost their minds, we were sitting pretty.

A little wind, a little rain... lots of chips and Oreos, lots of delivery (Chinese and pizza, back-to-back nights), and lots of sleep. Aside from not being able to leave Washington Heights due to little or no subway service, and aside from it being beyond strange that we're spending so much time together, this storm really didn't affect us. And, again, we are grateful.

What sucks (kind of) is that Matt's restaurant still doesn't have power. Which means... one less paycheck this week. But we'll deal. Especially since I got paid to sleep until noon, watch The Dark Knight until 4 AM, and proofread a super smutty manuscript of Fifty Shades of Dorian Gray (coming to bookstores near you this spring!). My office just opened today, but we don't have internet yet and most of us can't actually get to the office. It's optional, but I'm going to head in tomorrow for a bit. I just... want to see other people. I need an excuse to wear real pants again.

Matt and I have not spent this much time together (or eaten so much horrible, yet delicious food) since... April. And at that point, we were actually on vacation in Chicago (and the food was much better... and way more expensive!). And before that... oh geeze. Probably our vacation to San Francisco last May? Point is, we have never had five days like this. And although it's honestly very nice to have absolutely no agenda, it's getting to the point where we're both craving interaction with other people and things to do that will get our lazy asses off the couch.

We're not fighting, we're not irritable. We're just... bored. It's one thing to choose to stay in for a weekend or to choose a staycation instead of a vacation. But when you physically can't go anywhere, it's not that enjoyable. One of our two subway stops opened today, but considering they have a "free fare" going on, we decided to stay away from it, knowing it'd be packed. Same thing with the buses—they've been going since Tuesday night, but we know there's no way we're going to get on one without pushing and shoving. And it's just not worth the effort.

We've taken a few walks to get some fresh air. Went down to the bridge on Wednesday (I think? Honestly, the days are blending together now.) and we walked along the river today. Down near the water, the wind is still pretty rough. Tree limbs are down, but you could tell nothing was under water. This part of the Hudson was never a threat. Thankfully.

Watching the news is depressing. Hearing some of my coworkers talk about still not having power and being unable to actually get back onto the island is rough. Luckily, I don't know anyone who is missing or dead. And I don't think any of my friends actually have family that are missing or dead. But seeing the death toll rise and watching stories about little boys getting swept away from their mothers as the water rushed in is heartbreaking. And then seeing the more than eighty houses that burned to the ground in Queens... It's pretty rough. Definitely makes me grateful that we got by without even the slightest scratch.

I'm also happy to learn that everything back home is just as it was before the storm. Unfortunately, some of that stuff is not... great. But. At least it's not any worse, right?

Tomorrow, back to work. And if Matt's still off from work, we're going to the movies. And we're going to stay away from the apartment for as long as possible. I think it's safe to say we're sick of being cooped up, but we're definitely not sick of each other. Which is definitely good!

4-Day Week, 3 New Contracts, 2 Full Trains, and a Nobel Prize

As the title to this entry suggests, I've had a busy week. Mix in some insomnia, a handful of really horrible headaches, and more than 3,400 written words and we've pretty much touched on all the other fun stuff. (Actually, the writing is a really good thing. I hit my goal for last weekend and plan on attempting to hit another one when I'm done here.)

Let's do it count-down style:

(4)
Due to holes in our Employee Handbook (and a huge increase in hiring over the past eight months), I was able to take Columbus Day off. Hence the three-day weekend and the four-day work week. Despite it being a full day shorter, I felt like this week was longer than most have been. Because I dedicated part of that three-day weekend to writing and the other parts to spending as much time as possible with Matt (and yet another part to freelance work), my sleep schedule got screwed. Hard.

This whole week made me remember another reason why I've been so creatively unproductive the past seven years: My brain is most creative at night. I produce all my best stuff after twilight. Midnight, 1 AM, 2 AM... bring it. This is when my brain is most active, when I get my best ideas. And this doesn't only apply to the actual act of writing. This whole week I barely got any sleep because even though I was in bed, my brain wouldn't shut off. I kept getting ideas for things I wanted to write. So I've been dragging myself out of bed and into the living room at 2:30 or even 3:30 in the morning, and writing down everything that I've been thinking all night. Just random ideas... chicken scratch. And you'd think that just getting it out and down on paper would help, but oh no... No... the next hour or so is spent thinking about how I would actually approach the idea. I can't stop it.

Hence, the longest 4-day work week in the world. Completed on less than 15 hours of sleep, I'd say.


(3)
I currently have three contracts in the works: one novel (the one I was super excited about a few weeks ago that my director told me probably wouldn't happen), one memoir (about a young Jewish girl teaching in the Bronx—the total opposite of Freedom Writers and everything along those lines), and one nonfiction coffee-table-ish type book (called Kitchen Things, it features the photos on this site and really awesome historical and entertaining narrative about each utensil). The author/photographer of Kitchen Things is actually the younger brother of the late Pulitzer-Prize winning poet, W.D. Snodgrass. Pretty freakin' cool, in my opinion.

Nothing's confirmed until the contracts are returned and signed, but everyone seems pretty content with the deals, so hopefully they'll all work out and I'll have three additional acquisitions to my name. Today I received a submission from an agent representing the former pastry chef of one of Michael Mina's restaurants. Michael Mina is a Michelin-star rated chef in California and Vegas and he would even provide a blurb for the cover of the book. I'm reviewing it next week. If it's written well, I'll pitch that one, too.


(2)
I was reaching for two of something to finish this title, and it occurred to me that during the hour and a half it took me to get home today, I couldn't fit on two A trains that stopped at Penn Station. They were all running behind, so even though I got to the station at 5:35, I didn't step foot on a train until 6:30. In that time frame, tons of trains went downtown and the C and E passed me a zillion times, but me and about 100 other people paced and bitched while waiting for an A train. And, of course, when one finally did show up, it was so packed that the majority of us couldn't fit inside. This happened one more time around 6:15. Then, as I was about to give up and take the C to 168 and transfer, I caught sight of the A train's lights down the tracks. The car was so empty, I actually got a seat. Which is nice when you have to go 150 streets...


(1)
Ah, yes. The best part of this week... for me, for Mo Yan, and for my company. Years ago, when Arcade Publishing was its own company, they acquired English translations of works by a Chinese writer named Mo Yan. At the time, no one else wanted Mo's work. But the publisher of Arcade, the late Dick Seaver, took a chance. He liked what he read, he had faith in it, and even though it wasn't the best thing ever, he took it on. Throughout the years, Arcade picked up five of Mo's books. In 2009, Mr. Seaver passed away and his wife, Jeannette, sold the company to Skyhorse.

This year, Mo happened to be nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature. As Jeannette told us in a company meeting on Thursday, she did not expect Mo to win. All eyes were on the Japanese nominee, not the Chinese. But Mo won. And, in a way, so did my company. Phone calls were made at 5 in the morning, tens of thousands of reprints were ordered, and the design team worked on "Nobel Prize Winner" emblems for the covers of the reprints. The phones rang all day, looking for quotes from our executive editor of Arcade, our publisher, and even Jeannette, who works in the office with us a few days a week. Around 3, our publisher called a meeting, poured champagne for everyone, and we celebrated the rest of the day. It was... awesome.

Of course, I had absolutely nothing to do with any of the books Arcade printed between 2000 and 2008. And I didn't even have anything to do with the reprints we'll be putting out this weekend. But still... we're such a small company. And this is so huge for us. I don't agree with everything we publish, but this definitely shows that taking risks is worth it. And if you believe in something enough, even if it doesn't sell, that doesn't mean it's not good writing. I think we're all going to be a bit more open minded when we're reviewing submissions from now on. You never know when you may be taking on something bigger than yourself.

This story's going somewhere...

Uhm, I've been busy. I apologize. I don't think anyone really cares except for my mom, though. ;) Either way, it's a good idea to write stuff down and store it somewhere (and why not on the internet?!) because you never know when you'll need it. Maybe I'll write a memoir one day. Or an autobiographical novel. Who knows...

I've been thinking a lot about my own writing lately. And how I just really need to get back into it. I have ideas... tons of ideas. I just haven't honestly given myself the time to sit down and work them out. It's not even about selling them or making money off them or even, really, publishing them. Right now, it's more about actually finishing something I started. To be perfectly honest, I haven't completed a single short story or novel-length work since Matt and I started dating.

Before that, I was fifteen years old and queen of fan fiction (strictly characters from bands I liked listening to at the time) and I was working on my first story with original characters. It seemed promising; I had a really good following in a few online communities and a decent amount of traffic to my LiveJournal, where I posted everything. I was really liking what I was writing.

But then Matt happened. And I let the relationship eat up a lot of my free time. I spent time with (or, God knows, waiting) for him and when he wasn't there, we were on the phone. I used to use writing as a way to pass the time because I didn't have anything else. Friends came and went quite frequently, so many of my closest friends were online. They were dependable and always there when I signed on and they were incredibly supportive of everything I produced, even if the subject matter was... questionable... Come to think of it, I really miss that. I was a weird kid, but we were all pretty weird. We all had issues we were working through, hence the reason we were online every second of every day.

Back then, especially in the summer, I'd be up until 5 AM just writing and chatting. I'd finish a chapter, send it to a friend (Ashlee, most times) to proofread (though, at the time, I don't think we knew that's what we were really doing), and then I'd post it everywhere people were reading. The next day, I'd have more than fifty comments to read through and questions to answer. It was... great. People liked what I wrote (or at least liked the people I wrote about) and it was empowering. I think those late nights are probably among the strongest reasons I chose to go into publishing. I loved reading what other people were writing, I loved sending them critiques, I loved writing my own stuff. I was a little editor; my adolescence definitely foreshadowed my young adulthood/beginning of my professional career.

I don't blame Matt for my lack of creativity the past seven and a half years. Not at all. I know why things have been this way. As I mentioned, I wrote to get myself through a lot of rough, teenage stuff. I was bouncing around between groups of friends and then it was just me and another girl against the world. And then she got a boyfriend and I slowly became background music. I couldn't play sports anymore, I didn't have a ton of close friends, and I needed something to do with my time. So I started writing. And I met all these really great, sincere people through my writing communities. And we had all the same interests. And they always wanted more of what I had to offer. They kept me going. Then Matt and I got close, and I wasn't unhappy anymore. I spent less time online. I didn't have as many issues to work through, to write myself through.

And here I sit. Seven and a half years later (almost to the day my writing died) and I have almost nothing to show for it. Tons of ideas are in a giant binder, which is still packed away from the move. All my old stories are saved on CDs, but I don't ever pull them out because I know they won't be as good today as they were years ago. And they're not anything that I can even revise and use today. They were silly, but they were a part of my childhood, too. And I refuse to just throw them out.

I need to set a few goals. Forget contests and book deals. Forget writing groups and beta reading. I just need to do my own thing on my own time and then go from there. I need to set aside some time and just do it. Stop talking about it and just do it. That's how moving to NYC and working in publishing worked out. Maybe it's a life lesson. Put your money where your mouth is. That kind of thing. Who knows. All I know is that it needs to happen.

The urge has been strong recently, mostly due to what I've been working on, in and out of the office. Freelance has started up with my old company again. This requires me to research and write summaries about mostly upcoming books. Whenever I get one I'd be interested in reading, I wish I had written it. Whenever I get one that sounds absolutely horrible, but is being published by a major house, I think, "If they could do it, I could do it."

At work, I'm editing my first original novel. I acquired it, I formed a great relationship with the author (he seriously calls me every day to check in; I tell everyone I talk to him more than my dad), and now I'm finally combing through the manuscript. Track changes on. (The poor, poor guy.) I've been sending it back to him part by part, and he always calls to say how "excellent" the edits are and how smart I am and how much he agrees with all my suggestions. At one point, I told him I thought there was just way too much dialogue in one chapter and suggested he break it up with a few details about the scene or action between the characters. So he called and asked me if it'd be possible for me to send him an example so he knew what I was looking for. I turned a 300-word conversation into a 700-word scene in less than ten minutes. And it felt wonderful. I was so proud of it. I sent it back and he sent me a one-word email: "Excellent!" And it was. Definitely not my best piece of writing ever, but actually working on it felt great. I came home and told Matt that I felt like that was it. That's all I needed to get back into this.

So this weekend (which happens to be three days long!), my goal is to get something started. First on paper, then on the computer. I don't care if it's not something I totally finish right now. But I know that if I like it enough, if I work the idea out from beginning to end on paper (outline... I outline everything), then I'll want to go back to it. I'll want to finish it. I just need something to finish first.

But before I do any of that, I have to finish a 380-page proofread by Tuesday and write 20 book summaries by Wednesday. This is my life. It's stressful and demanding and full of deadlines, but I love it.

Instructions for you: If you ever text me/call me/see me and ask me what I'm up to and I say "nothing," please ask me about my writing. Guilt me into it. I need the push sometimes.

Good Things Are Happening

To start, a sad thing: the memoir I pitched to my editorial director a few weeks ago was rejected. I felt bad, but... two novels I've pitched have both gotten nods of approval. Just waiting for my publisher to give the final word! I was forwarded a manuscript that I absolutely fell in love with on Monday and I spent the past two days or so just reading through it and loving it. I pitched it today and my ed. director actually complimented the pitch. He said he liked the way I presented it, which was nice because that's one area where I'd been struggling. It's nice that people are taking notice of—and calling attention to!—the progress I'm making.

In other news, I have not been making progress in the kitchen, as some of you may have noticed. The past few weekends have been kind of crazy. After flipping through a bunch of Matt's cookbooks, I decided that they're just all too advanced for me. I understand it, but it's too complex. Too many pans, too many cuts, too many ingredients. So I ordered a simple one for myself from Amazon the other day. It's not diet-ish, so I won't be going all over NYC looking for random "light" ingredients, but it's easy. And that's a good start. Hopefully as the days get cooler, the kitchen will be more comfortable to cook in. We're just getting to the point now where we don't need the air conditioner in the living room, but the bedroom is still too warm at night. But we're getting there. I can't wait for all the windows to be open and the breeze to carry itself through the rooms. At that point, I'll light my fall candles, crack a book (or a proofread!) open, and just go to town, figuratively speaking.

Last Saturday was actually a really beautiful day: warm in the sunlight, chilly in the shadows. Matt and I went to the farmer's market in Inwood, which is only two stops away (compared to roughly 20 to Union Square) and much smaller than we were used to. Because it was so close, though, we found ourselves willing to buy cold products that we knew would make it home before melting or going bad. We bought delicious chocolate milk, different types of cheese, maple cotton candy, and a bunch of veggies: peppers, brocolli, tomatoes, corn on the cob, carrots... Lots of stuff. And then we used some of the cheese (I think it was ricotta made of goat cheese) and the tomatoes and some fresh basil for dinner later that night. It may have been the first time Matt made us dinner since he's been out here, actually. It was delicious.

Before dinner, though, we got sandwiches for lunch and had a picnic in the park near our place. Spread out a blanket, read some books, and just enjoyed the beautiful weather. (Pictures at the end of this post.) About an hour or so into our picnic, we were approached by the most adorable bulldog puppy I've ever laid my eyes on. It was his first time at a park and he was so curious and cute. It made me want one so bad. We've agreed that our next place needs to have certain things, and one of them has to be that pets are allowed. This will let Matt's parents visit with Sammy and it'll allow us to get a dog—something Matt can't stop talking about. We have the perfect schedules for one, but it's really not worth delving into too much right now since we have until at least June to worry about that. And it's only September.

After the park, we ran to Macy's because I wanted new shoes. I found a pair of Lacoste/Converse sneakers that were out of my price range, but I held on to them while I tried on a bunch of flats. After waiting more than a half hour for one particular pair to come up from the storage rooms, the store announced its closing and the person helping us apologized that I never got to try on the shoes I wanted and gave me a HUGE discount on my sneakers. They ended up being $40. Which is not bad for a $70 pair of shoes.

Oh! Another good thing. I've been picking up some pretty repetitive freelance—proofreads for work and now an old project is coming back to my old office and they've offered me some work on that, too. The extra money is much appreciated, especially since we have so many things on our list for the apartment, like a shredder, an air purifier, and a headboard or artwork for the head of the bed. I enjoy that my career choice/skills allows me to do extra work; overtime is limited at my office right now and has to be approved beforehand, so I can't go in too many weekends in a row to get ahead because it's kind of unnecessary. I worked six hours this past Sunday, but I won't try to go in again until sometime in October, if I have to.

Hm... what else. Matt and I are going home this Saturday! For the past how many years, we've made sure to get to the Bloomsburg Fair at least one night and we plan on continuing that tradition while we can. (We like to eat!) I also plan on visiting my grandparents this weekend. (Grandma told me she misses me the other night on the phone. It was sweet.) Matt couldn't get Sunday off, so we'll be on a bus Saturday morning at 8:30 and probably Sunday morning at 9:30. And then Matt'll go to work and I'll do more freelance work. So it'll be like I'm going to work, too. Except I get to do it on my couch. And maybe take a nap in the middle of my shift.

I apologize for the mish-mash of subjects. This is kind of how my brain has been the past few weeks. One topic to the next. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming... One of these days, I'll focus a bit more. Maybe. Time to work out!