The Story So Far

The word gargantuan used to baffle me. I knew what it meant, but I didn't quite understand it. The first time I saw the word was in the first book in the Babysitter's Club Little Sister series. The main character, Karen, uses it to describe her father and stepmother's house. If I'm remembering the story line correctly, in comparison to her mother's house, her father's house was very large. I knew Ann Martin was trying to say that the house was big, but I didn't understand just how big.

It took me years to understand the real meaning of the word: enormous, tremendous, immense. Once I moved on to more advanced series, I forgot about Karen and her gargantuan house. I was reminded of it recently, however. While at a stop sign, the word popped came to mind. I was thinking of how big this move was: Wilkes-Barre to Manhattan. And big didn't seem like it fit the situation. Important? Eh. Necessary? Definitely, but no... Gargantuan? Yes. Yes, this decision was enormous, tremendous, immense—and intense.

I assume some background would be helpful right about now...

TO SUM IT ALL UP, I worked for a small educational book production company in northeastern Pennsylvania for more than three years. I started with the company as a part-time worker and freelancer as a junior in college and was then hired full-time when I graduated. I was with the company almost exactly two years full time. I hold a BA in Communications, and I was always interested in writing and reading books. I've expressed an interest in wanting to publish forever, and I've talked nearly nonstop about hoping to someday work at a trade publishing company. I learned of an opportunity to intern at an independent publishing company in Manhattan in mid-May and sent a simple email inquiring about internships for summer or fall, figuring I'd be able to give my company more than enough notice if I happened to get the internship. Well, I got it—and was asked to be in the city less than two weeks later. I couldn't say no; I couldn't let this opportunity go to anyone else. I wanted it, so I took it.

And here I am now. The night before I move to Manhattan. Scared out of my  mind.

Like I said, this was a big decision. I lived in Italy for a month in 2009, but other than that, I've never been outside of Wilkes-Barre for an extended period of time. I moved out of my parents' house last August, and figured that was all the independence I'd need for a little while. (And even then... I rented from my grandparents and saw my mom three to four times a week, anyway.) This experience is not like the others, though. This isn't a one-week vacation to Chicago, a month-long excursion in Italy, or anything slightly temporary. This is it—I'm not coming back. To visit, yes. Absolutely. All the time. But I don't plan on ever calling the Wyoming Valley my home again. There's nothing for me here—I need to go where the jobs are. And in publishing, that's NYC.

Everything's going to be different, of course. The streets, my routine, my friends, etc. etc. Even my job won't be anything close to what I was already doing. I'm taking a severe pay cut and basically starting my career over. And I understand that I'm doing it and have accepted the challenge with an open mind. I always said I didn't mind the idea of starting from the bottom and working my way up... and that's what I find myself doing again. And that's fine. I'm only twenty-four years old. It's the right time to do it. Everyone keeps telling me that if I don't take this chance, I'll regret it forever. I don't want to live with that type of regret. So... This is it.

TOMORROW my aunt and my mom are taking me to Manhattan, where I'll rent a room for about a month. Since the internship is open-ended, I plan on being there for a while (and, as previously mentioned, I really don't plan on admitting future failure and moving back home...), so I'll look for a semi-permanent place and hopefully be in by July 1st. And then the fun starts.

I plan on using this blog to document my transition from the W-B to NYC. The apartment searching, the responsibilities of the new job, the discoveries I make as I move around a new city. Some of it (well, most of it, probably...) will be boring, but if I can keep it up, then I can look back at the past and remember where I came from and how hard I worked to get to.... wherever I end up. Writing has always helped me work through ideas and emotions, so hopefully it will continue to help me out while I make the first of what I hope to be many big—gargantuan—decisions.