Currently Lost, Eventually Found

Sometimes I miss the days of LiveJournal and GreatestJournal, just because they had the options to list what music you're listening to and to pick an emoticon for your mood. Oh, to be 14 again... What a miserable time. Let's not go back there, shall we? On to the present...

I'm minutes away from doing my hair and picking out clothes for tomorrow. It's just a regular day of work, but afterward I'm heading to Hudson Heights to sign the lease for the apartment. I want to look professional and intelligent—unlike the lost and confused child I feel like as I wander around the city, taking wrong turns and fighting panic attacks every other day. Speaking of...

I GOT LOST IN HARLEM last week. I'd never taken the C train before and didn't realize that even though it drops off at 116th Street, it's on the other side of the park. And thus, in an area I was totally unfamiliar with. And of course it was 80 degrees and sometimes raining. And of course I was in flip flops. And of course my jeans were too long and were absorbing water as I walked through one puddle after another. And of course my phone was on 11% and my GPS was telling me to scale buildings, climb trees, and walk on water. I treated myself to a giant chicken fajita wrap when I finally figured out where I was. What a pain in the ass. I won't make that mistake again tomorrow.

(For the record, I could've hailed a cab, but I was on 114th Street and didn't want to get laughed at. It was still a 20-minute walk through the park and up the hill, but I didn't want to be the stupid, lazy little girl who hails a cab and asks the driver to take her up the street.)

I'm looking forward to the rest of this week. Andrew's taking me to a party in Brooklyn on Friday and moving day is Saturday! And Sunday is hopefully full of stress-free unpacking and maybe some really greasy, wonderful food. Then Monday begins an adaptation of my old routine. Work, dinner, work out, freelance in front of the television! Wash, rinse, repeat.

Matt's meeting with Chef now to try to set a date for his last day at work. I'm anxious to find out what they'll agree on. I really want him to have July 1, so he can be out here for July 4 and we'll have all day to explore. But I also know that in the restaurant world, every holiday is treated like Christmas and I'm feeling like Chef is going to try to get him to stay through the week of the 4th. Which will bum me out, but... I just keep reminding myself that he's coming. He's really coming. I just have to be patient a bit longer.

I CAN'T WAIT TO FEEL SETTLED AGAIN. I'm sick of feeling so temporary. I don't technically have a home right now, and I don't like it at all. It's hard to bounce around from place to place, knowing that you won't be there long. It's almost like... a constant nagging not to get too comfortable. Don't pick a shelf in the fridge for your food because you won't be putting food there in four days. Don't bother hanging those clothes; you'll just have to pack them later. Don't bother learning the area you're in now because you probably won't walk through it often. It's like being on vacation, but not as fun.

Off to do my hair, pick out my clothes, put my laundry "away," and get some sleep. Another long day tomorrow.