All Work and No Play Makes Nicole a Dull Girl

Disappeared for a little while; my bad. Been busy... so busy...

The last post was all about what I wanted to do in the new year. Well, the new year is one-quarter of the way over (already!!) and I haven't made any progress toward those goals. I'm sleeping less instead of more, I haven't worked on Book #2 at all, and I can't shut up about work (foreshadowing the rest of this post, btw).

In addition, I'm running less than I should be (which I'd like to blame on the weather as much as possible), I haven't been any more social than I was, and unless my money has been saving itself, that's not happening either.

So what has been going on?

Honestly, nothing.

Well, okay, not nothing, really. We switched our living room and bedroom around and now we have room to actually have people over and stay over (once we get an air mattress)! But... we don't really have time to have people over so... oops. Looks nice, though. (This is a sad update.)

Last month I ran another 5k (don't ask me my time) and Michele visited and that was a nice break. We got manicures and massages and ate until we wanted to die. It was a good time. My parents visited at the end of the month too and that was much needed. I've been a bit homesick and sometimes it's really nice when bits and pieces of home come to you, especially when you can't afford to go home yourself.

Our book came out! We want to take a corny picture of us holding it but we just haven't had the time. But you can buy it here or enter to win a copy here if you're at all interested.

Oh, and then there was that pesky mouse... which I hope is gone for good. But his presence did start a discussion about whether we want to get a cat. Named Reptar. I kid you not.

Other than those few things, March was a miserable, miserable, miserable month. (Here's the work chatter I promised. Ask me what I'm working on; we'll talk all day.) Half of it I spent fretting about sales conference—which was at the end of the month and at which I presented fifteen of my upcoming books—and it turned out to be not such a big deal. The first time I spoke at a conference, I was shaky and sweaty and terrified. This time, I went through all that nonsense a few days earlier and by the time the conference came around, I was either over it or too exhausted to care to be nervous.

I'm so tired. I need a vacation. But Matt has no vacation days, and why take a vacation when you can't spend it with the people you want to see the most?

I'm working my figurative balls off, day and night, most weekends, and now and then I come up for air to make a quick trip to the gym, Barnes & Noble, or Starbucks. Just last night, I worked until about 11, showered and watched an episode of American Pickers, and then Matt came home and I got in bed with my Kindle... and proceeded to read a submission I was reviewing until I fell asleep... with my Kindle in hand.

I have allowed my job to take over my life, and I'm not exactly thrilled about it. And I don't know how to get away from it. Although, I'm not sure if I want to? Or should? I can imagine it's not a good thing; however, if I hated my job, then I think I'd have a bigger problem. But I don't hate it; I enjoy a lot of what I do so work isn't always work, if that makes sense.

In fact, really great things keep happening at work that make it almost worth all the... work. For instance, I recently completed my very first two-book deal for the beginning books in a YA fantasy series. That's pretty freakin' awesome. And a book I acquired and will be out this August has sold Chinese, Spanish, and German translation rights. That's huge! For me, anyway. I don't really know how this type of stuff ranks with other people in the office (or people in general), but I'm happy with it.

So it's kind of like I'm stuck in this cycle: I whine and bitch and moan, but I keep doing it because it makes me happy. And then I whine some more. And then I drink a lot of wine. And then I'm happy. And then back to work... And then I nap. And then I wake up and panic and get back to work.

I think one of my problems is that I can't sit still; I can't... relax. I've been this way since I was sixteen. When I was no longer allowed to play sports, I got a job. And then I worked twenty or thirty hours a week in my junior and senior years of high school. And then in college I had three jobs. Plus I did some projects for the LOC on the side. And then at my first full-time job, I got freelance work from that job and other companies. And now I'm out here and there's so much to see and do and... I sit at home all night and work. Saturdays and Sundays, too. Most of the time it's unpaid.

It's like I can't shut it off.

I haven't been bored in years.

But I am exhausted.

However, I don't want to be forced out and about. I don't want anyone to try to make me feel bad or guilty about what I'm doing with my nights, weekends, etc. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone tries to get me to do something I don't want to do/don't have time for after I've already said no. Don't pressure me, or I'll never go anywhere with you again!

When it's time to take a break, I'll take it. But until then, let me be. And I'll eventually come back to reality and get back to living my life for something more than books and authors. I hope.

(This was an awkward entry. Apologies.)

April should be better, though. Despite a few doctor's appointments, this month I will be attending a Bayside show (!!!!!!!), getting a sixty-minute massage (booked it!), and celebrating nine years with Matt. Could be a good month. Should be a good month. Hopefully will be a good month.

Win a copy of my book!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

The Little Red Book of Kitchen Wisdom

by Nicole Frail

Giveaway ends May 02, 2014.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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