Being in a Relationchef

I'm reading a book called Apron Anxiety, which is a memoir written by a writer who had absolutely no desire to cook, bake, or learn about food until she started dating a chef. She calls her relationship a "relationchef," hence this post's title. She gave up her own career as a journalist to move to Washington, D.C. where her boyfriend-turned-fiance (so far—not sure if they get married yet) opens two restaurants and travels the world to promote them, his cookbooks, and himself. (He was a contestant on Top Chef.) At first, she doesn't really want anything to do with the cooking aspect of his life...

But then the long days and nights without him get boring and depressing. She gets tired of spoonfuls of Nutella and bowls of cereal for dinner and he gets tired of never having any food in the house when he finally does get home after midnight and is exhausted and famished. (She hates grocery shopping, as well). She grows to be extremely unhappy and can't seem to accept that their relatinoship is unconventional; it frustrates her that she attends most family parties and friendly get-togethers alone, and she hates that their time together is so limited every day. She decides that she has to find a way to fill all her free time. (My initial thought was... how 'bout get a job? But I suppose when you date a reality-television star/celebrity chef, there's no need for that nonsense.) She wants to pick up an activity that he'll support and that will rejuvenate their relationship. So she decides to start cooking.

Every day, she bakes or cooks something new. And every night, when Chef comes home, she has dinner ready for him—even if it's 1 a.m. They eat together in front of the television, cuddled up on the couch and watching whichever shows they're following. When I read this part, I got an idea...

A few weeks before I found out about/interviewed/and got a position at my company (remember—this all happened in about two days), I cooked a real meal for Matt for the very first time. In the past, we'd made a few meals for our families and he'd cooked for me once or twice, but I never thought of trying to cook for him. On a calorie-counting high at the time, I downloaded a cookbook on my Kindle and set to work making him coconut crusted chicken, coconut rice, and a salsa to put over both. I also made the salad dressing on our tropical salad. I made cookies, too, though I admittedly burned a whole batch of those. He was impressed, and I felt accomplished. I vowed to cook more often and had bookmarked a bunch of recipes I thought I could handle.

But then all this happened and I haven't made anything more complicated than a tuna sandwich in the past few weeks. I microwave everything: chicken nuggets, steamed bags of veggies, corn on the cob, pizza... If there are microwave options on the box/bag, you better believe I'd rather push a few buttons than dirty a pan, turn on the stove, and have to worry about burning myself while retrieving my food. In recent weeks, though, I've played with the idea of maybe trying to cook a little bit more.

This idea comes from my reading material, of course. But it also comes from walking around the Union Square Farmer's Market, surrounded by nothing by natural, homegrown foods. Honey, apple cider donuts, jams, fruits, veggies, meats, breads, pastas... everything. It just makes me want to eat. And, maybe, cook. On top of all that, I'm working on aquiring two cookbooks based on very popular food blogs. I helped one of the bloggers write a book proposal today and was seriously contemplating my abilities to make some of the sample recipes she included. I feel like everything is telling me to branch out... become a teeny tiny bit domesticated. I mean, Matt already cooks and cleans (and I love love love it!), but I suppose I could do a bit of work around the apartment, too.

So... I proposed a weekly date night. Every Friday after work, I'll go to the gym and then come home and make dinner for us. It'll be really late, but neither of us will need to be up super early on Saturday morning and I won't feel too guilty about eating late because I'll a) have exercised that day and b) try to make healthy-ish meals. I shared my idea with Matt today and he was very supportive of it. We're really not seeing a lot of each other these days, so it'll be nice to have one designated night to just catch up, share a bottle of wine, and watch our shows. (We're seriously behind on the new True Blood season.) Having dinner so late at night (or, early morning, if you so choose...) will be convenient for me, too, because I'm really slow in the kitchen. I'm not very confident in my knife skills or measurements and I constantly second guess and triple check my lists, so having all night to put something together will be better for me. Less stress. And I'll have time to clean everything up.

I don't know if this will be something we (I...) can keep up on a weekly basis, but I'm going to try. Our relationship really is unlike almost everyone else's that I know. We're working separate shifts and just kind of passing in the night. His days off are few and far between and any socializing done on either of our parts is done on our own. It kind of sucks. But it is what it is. And I knew that when we got back into it. And he did warn me several times. Now's the time to put our careers first, though. We only have ourselves/each other to worry about and I think we're both mature enough to accept it. Even though I think we both want to throw a tantrum every now and then. (I'm even pretty sure Matt threw one today when he realized his alarm never went off and he slept most of his day away...)

Matt has hundreds (literally) of cookbooks, but I think they're all above my skill-level at the moment. I have two. And I have also been frequenting PreventionRD and Iowa Girl Eats. (The two blogs that I'm trying to make cookbooks. But ssshhh.) We are currently working with two or three pots (no pans, because someone forgot them all at home... Ahem.), so the recipes can't be too complex right now. But if anyone has any easy, healthy suggestions, I'll take them! And I'll try to post pictures of my finished products... or of all my neighbors on the front sidewalk when I set the alarms off!